I submitted my thesis this morning. It feels more like a birthday than anything else; lots of people congratulating me on Facebook and I’m going out later, but I’m doing normal things this afternoon and I don’t feel any different.
It’s not really an ending. This isn’t the end for my thesis, as I really need to write some journal articles. And my routine isn’t going to massively change, either; I’m going to keep the same hours, I’ll still be doing things at the university on occasion, and I’ll continue the job-hunting I already started. I’d like to book a holiday, but I don’t feel comfortable doing so when I don’t know when I’m going to have a regular income again. I considered sitting at home doing nothing for a week or so, but I’d get really bored and lonely and end up thinking too much. So, business as usual it is.
I don’t know if I feel this ‘normal’ because I already had my ‘oh god, I’m finishing my PhD’ panic a few weeks ago and, by expecting to basically have a mental breakdown, I’ve done enough for it not to happen. It might be because nothing is really changing in my life in real terms just yet. It could be that it’ll sink in after a few more job rejections and I’ll get really depressed. We’ll have to see. I’ll keep blogging, anyway.