Jumping ahead from the other juvenilia I’ve posted, enjoy this short ghost story and my slightly-puzzled commentary. I think it’s just about readable.
So many questions. Why did I go from the past to the present tense and back again? Was the airing cupboard in the Victorian house formerly the larder or a servant’s bedroom? Why would you move somewhere that had changed hands so many times because everyone thought it was haunted? If people didn’t even get around to getting rid of the Victorian furniture, what state of repair is the place in?
Why don’t her parents approve of her looking at Victorian furniture? Wouldn’t they notice she suddenly had more books? Can’t she just turn the tap on to see if the water’s working? Wouldn’t the main electricity switch be somewhere other than the attic? Loving my over-description of the drawers and music equipment. Showing my age with the moving cassette.
Get one what out? Loving the light fixture.
DUN DUN DUNNNNN. It seems as though the only thing I knew about Victorian dress was servants’ outfits. No knowledge of footwear, obviously.
So her dad won’t make the ghost angry by tidying but she will? Did I get bored of colouring in the counter? Did I accidentally invent/predict the fashion for undercuts and sidecuts? The less said about the eyes and her back-to-front-looking body the better.
Is the ghost scared of her rather than the other way round?
So easy to make friends when you’re ten. Why was the cat on the train? Why didn’t Molly just leave the house and look for her family? She seems very acquiescent for someone who’s scared away several homeowners.
See, she can leave the house! Why didn’t she look for her family? Why didn’t I make it so Molly forced Gemma to talk to her at school and make everyone think she was mad?
How did she forget all about her when she kept nicking Kelly’s stuff? Why didn’t Kelly suspect Gemma, the new girl, of being a thief?
Once again, the problem is solved by Molly backing down surprisingly easily. Can ghosts change clothes? Why is the end so loud?
And now, back to editing my current writing. It’s actually going better than I expected, yay!